Kermit the Frog was right, “It’s Not Easy Bein’ Green.”

For years, I’ve joked, in a not very funny way, that “I didn’t reproduce so I can put whatever I want in the landfill.” The ridiculous amount I consume and have delivered post/present pandemic, got to me this year.

In addition, I saw the toll my consumption takes on my mail carriers and delivery people. 

I have a lot of excuses for my over consumption. At 5’4” and 110 pounds, the bag of kibble I use for croutons for five dogs is half of me. My knee still hurts. It is easier to have things like, dog beds, towels, books, laundry detergent, and cleaning supplies, delivered to my doorstep than carry it from a store to my car.

Now, I will also own that I loathe, truly loathe, visiting my local grocery store, Food Town, the Petri Dish.  Both staff and patrons look at me like I’m speaking in tongues with snakes coming out of my head when I wear my mask and wipe down my cart. (To my great surprise, they do offer wipes which are, most often, full. I think I’m the only person who uses them and they’ve had the same bucket of wipes since 2018.)

In addition, the prices at Food Town, for the things I need – almond milk, organic almond butter, frozen vegetables for the dogs, and granola – are high. However, they are the ONE place that stocks fresh cut marrow bones.

At Food Town, I bag my own groceries because the children that work the cash registers and bag, snap their gum, eat Cheetos and Sour Patch Kids, sip giant sodas, and seem, generally perturbed that ringing up my items takes them away from their TikTok, Snapchat or whatever else they are doing on their phone.

I know, I sound like a grumpy old lady.  

It’s not their fault.  The management at the Petri Dish should step in and train them in the finer arts of basic human decency.

I digressed.

But, you get the idea.  It is easier to click on my Amazon account, order and have items delivered.

Over the last several months, watching the Earth Club at school do more with recycling, I’ve considered my consumption and made real efforts to curb it – literally with my recycling, and figuratively with my habits.

Since I couldn’t find an electric snowblower at my local hardware store, I purchased a Greenworks corded blower. It arrived on Wednesday.

I dragged it into my home from the front porch to assemble it.

On Christmas Eve morning with a few inches of snow on the patio, I unboxed and built my new blower.

At the end, I realized the chute rod was missing. 

Using my Amazon wizardry, I found the number for Greenworks. The website said they were open, but the message told me to “call during business hours.” I reached out to Amazon. 

Both associates from India (yes, I had to go up the command chain), said the only solution was to send me an entirely new snowblower and have me send this one back. Parul even said, “when you receive the new one, take out the part you need and return it.”

I noted the irony and chatted with:

My solution is to wait for Greenworks to get back to me. I have to believe that someone will see the idiocy. 

I am not defeated. I am committed to a greener 2022.