MOMversation about Men and Murder

or, Why I Should Date Women

29 June 2019

On Saturdays, mom visits Helen at Salon Enchante. Helen is renowned for her skill with thinning gray hair. No one can insert rollers and get someone under a hot vintage bonnet dryer like Helen.

I call it, “the fluff and fold.”

Mom and I have some quality time driving to and from the fluff and fold.

Yesterday, before I had even backed Tiggy, my Volkswagon Tiguan out of mom’s driveway, she started the conversation.

MOM:  I just can’t get that poor girl out of my mind. (I knew she was referring to Mackenzie Lueck, a 23-year-old student at the University of Utah who was murdered earlier in the week.)

ME:  I know. It’s awful.

MOM:  You just can never date men again.

ME:  (Thinking, is this a slippery slope or a hasty generalization?) Should I date women?

MOM:   That’s not funny.

ME:  So, if I was a lesbian and dated women I wouldn’t have to worry about being murdered?

MOM:  You know what I mean.  I hope you never date again.

ME:  That is one of the meanest things you’ve ever said.