ME (Looking at Betty White):   Oh, Betty!  If I had scissors close by, I’d trim the straggles.

MOM:  Your scissors are right there.

ME:  What?  Where?

MOM:  With your knives. At the bottom of the block. I’ve been using them. They’re wonderful.  Nice and sharp.

ME:  Mom, those aren’t for cutting . . .

MOM:  Well what are they?

ME (picking them up and showing her the shape): See this round . . .

MOM: Are they for opening some kind of alcoholic beverage?

ME:  No, they are for seafood.