ME (Looking at Betty White): Oh, Betty! If I had scissors close by, I’d trim the straggles.
MOM: Your scissors are right there.
ME: What? Where?
MOM: With your knives. At the bottom of the block. I’ve been using them. They’re wonderful. Nice and sharp.
ME: Mom, those aren’t for cutting . . .
MOM: Well what are they?
ME (picking them up and showing her the shape): See this round . . .
MOM: Are they for opening some kind of alcoholic beverage?
ME: No, they are for seafood.