Sitting at Sammy’s Bistro. Two girlfriends, one three-year-old and me, Crazy Aunt Julie.
GIRLFRIEND 1: How are the salads? I need to lose that last five pounds.
GIRLFRIEND 2: I’m having the Buffalo Chicken salad, but it’s pretty much just fried chicken on lettuce, so you may not want that if you’re trying to lose weight.
GIRLFRIEND 1: I’m sure the amount of wine I’m drinking isn’t a factor.
ME: Years ago when you were on diet, you told me that you can switch wine for a vodka/tonic. Are you not doing that anymore?
GIRLFRIEND 1: My friend told me, “Drinking wine is like drinking a donut.”
ME: I’m destined for fatness because I like eating donuts and drinking them, too!