Why English Teachers Should NOT Try Online Dating


English teachers, like me, should NOT date online. It is only a series of misadventures in matching. I cannot edit. I cannot provide feedback.

A brief list of why I cannot do this follows:

hey sweetie ……..do u ski ?? (First, let’s talk about capital letters. Second, is that supposed to be an ellipses? Third, we do NOT use text talk.)

Straight A’s ,gifted child program and honors math so far. pretty good athlete like his dad. I coach all his teams. That’s why I’m still in Utah and not back in New York. (He knows I’m an English teacher. Apparently, capital letters are optional. Is he “Father of the Year?” Or, a narcissist?)

Pretty! If you’d care to meet send me a note. I’ll be working Sunday thru Wednesday. But, I’m off Thursday thru Saturday. (He knows I’m an English teacher. Apparently, capital letters are optional. Is he “Father of the Year?” Or, a narcissist?)

You’ll have to come to my play. Based on Chekhovs The Seagull called Stupid Fucking Bird(honest) at Salt Lake Acting Company (This is from the man with the gifted/talented child. Apparently, his child takes after the mother because Chekhov’s needs an apostrophe. Note the commanding tone of “You’ll have to come to my play.” Odd that it is his play? One man show?)

I love the smell of a woman’s neck right behind her ear.. (First, ewwwww! Second, an ellispses needs three . . .)

out going mild mannered nice guy .likes to be noticed . likes conversion. likes prospecting and outdoors gets along with animals .retired farrier. blacksmith .welder maintance man millwright.likes trucks. four wheeling (If this outgoing, mild-mannered nice guy really likes “conversion,” he’s going to need to work on capital letters, complete sentences, and punctuation.)

i care about people of all backroundes i like driving on sunday mornig with the top dowun on my car (Honestly, I don’t even know where to start with this “match.” I just clicked “x.”)

i am an out doors person, (Capital letters? Compound words? I guess those are not in his wheelhouse.)

Finally, names like “SkiBum,” “Baddog,” “LovCkr,” and “Wassup_U,” do not make me want to respond to a “like,” a “wink,” or an “email.”


About Julie Hooker

I'm a teacher, writer, and editor. In addition, I'm an animal rescuer, yogi, and friend.
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