Years ago, I attended a chakra workshop. We drew our chakras. When I stepped back from my 11″ x 17″ paper, I saw that my heart was small. It was so small compared to the rest of the chakras that I almost couldn’t see it. It was wrapped tightly in a box, too.
That explained why back-bending and camel pose were so difficult for me.
I learned that, like the Grinch, my heart was “two sizes too small.”
I’ll never quite know the reason. Whether it was being adopted, losing my dad, or. . .
I just know that inside there’s a “Little Jules” that is angry, frightened, and alone. And, until she feels safe, loved, and supported, “Big Julie” will keep making the same choices. Choices that have unintended consequences. Choices that are backed by love, honesty, and warmth, but made from a place of fear.
So, this Christmas season, instead of helping my liver grow 3 sizes, I will grow my heart.