I Don’t Mean This Ugly, But . . .How About Leashes for Children?


This is Gus.  He is a puppy mill survivor and is TERRIFIED of children.

We, the Hooker’s Horde, would be gazillionaires and able to rescue every dog in the world, if we had $1 for every time someone asked, with a sneer, “Are all of those dogs yours?”

Today, the horde, was hanging out in the open space on the private property that our association dues fund. Faith was lounging in the cool grass in the shade, Betty White and Gus were by her side, while Houston and Booker chased tennis balls.

Out of nowhere, twelve children under the age of seven accompanied by only one frazzled blonde, bounded into the quiet. They shrieked.  They ran. They started to chase.


Without missing a beat, I scooped up Betty and hooked Faith and Houston to their leashes.

Some call me a “Crazy Dog Lady.”

The “Crazy Child Lady” ignored the misbehavior of the children and said, “They want to play with that one.  The one that left.”

In the words of one of the elders from The Book of Mormon, “O M Gosh.”

Rather than asking, “Are these all yours?” I said, “You must be making a lot of money with this kids’ camp.”

She replied, “Oh, it’s just a play date.”

The Yellow Dog Project promotes attaching a yellow bandana or ribbon to dogs that are fearful or have issues.

Shouldn’t adults attach something to ill-mannered children? Shouldn’t children be restrained? Shouldn’t children be as well-behaved as my dogs?

A year ago, I was sipping a lovely Pinot Noir in the same open area with my friend and our dogs when we were accosted by children on bicycles that careened into us and spilled my wine.


Really.  I don’t mean this ugly, but .  .  . our dogs are better behaved than most children. Let’s share the open space, the parks, and stop raising hooligans. I’d prefer to have children raised by wolves.  Look how well mine turned out!

About Julie Hooker

I'm a teacher, writer, and editor. In addition, I'm an animal rescuer, yogi, and friend.
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