MOM:  What did the dermatologist say?

ME:  I’m fine.  There’s nothing suspicious.  I go in every six months to check.

MOM:  Well, why is your face always so pink?

ME: I don’t know.  We didn’t talk about it.  She said I was fine.

MOM: Your face didn’t look like that when you were growing up.  Maybe it’s your makeup.

ME: Because I want my face to be pink? It’s not my makeup.

MOM: Well, what is it?

ME: I don’t know.  It’s like you said, I’m an old lady now.

MOM: Oh, I didn’t say that.  I said you were middle-aged.  Now, let me ask you this.  Have you started “the change?”

Who Am I, Anyway?

Time for Change – Clock

ME: Mom!  You asked me that the last time you told me I was old. The answer is still “no.”

MOM: Oh, I did not.

ME: Yes, you did.  You’re older than me. My memory is better.

MOM: Oh, well, then, are you sure you haven’t started?

ME: Well, it is hot. Oh, wait! It’s June.

MOM: Do you have regular periods?

Coming SERIOUSLY close to losing it.

ME: Yes.  I have one period each year.

MOM: That’s not regular!

ME: I take birth control so I don’t have to have a period every month.  I don’t enjoy them. I left out any talk of other reasons for birth control.

MOM: Well, who does like Aunt Flow?

ME:  (to myself) Kill me now.

MOM: But, only having one period a year doesn’t sound right. Who came up with that idea? I didn’t know they used the pill for that.