Relationships – Just Like Feeding the Dogs

As an English teacher, I avoid math. The only time I “do” math is when I multiply Charlie’s original IQ of 68 in the novella, Flowers for Algernon, by three on the white board to show that Charlie’s IQ was surgically increased to 204. When I successfully manage the multiplication, my class goes wild. Cheers ring through the room.

I’ve been thinking a lot about percentages lately. In real relationships, it is never 50/50 in regard to give and take. But, in a healthy relationship, it should balance out.

With the dogs, their portions of food are not equal. That is not because I love Gus less, it is simply because he is the smallest. Faith receives the most food because she is 90-pounds. Booker has a smaller portion for his 26-pound body. And, finally, weighing in at 16-pounds, Gus gets the smallest. It is a bit like Goldilocks. The portions, including pumpkin and yogurt are “just right” for each dog.

Back to relationships . . . I own my part. My romantic relationships have fallen apart because of infidelity, rigidness, and me playing the “fixer-upper.” In each relationship, I know I share a percentage of the blame for its disintegration.

I also claim my part in the success of my romantic relationships. I am compassionate, warm, giving, and thoughtful.

The same is true for friendships. Real friends bolster you when you are down and cheer for you as you rise. In friendships, no one is up all the time. It is a balance. When I was very low, a friend told me, “I couldn’t be there for you in April because you weren’t there for me the last six months.”

Again, with a relationship, friendship, or feeding the dogs, there is a balance. It is not always equal. But, in the end, everyone gets what he or she need and it equals out.