3 Things NOT to Say to an English Teacher You Want to Date

To be fair, presuming you want a second date with me, these are three things you should not say.

1. After surveying the coffee table in my living room, “Ummmm.   It looks like you read a lot.” (On the table rested four magazines: Vegetarian Times, Vanity Fair, Time, and Yoga Journal along with David and Goliath, The Art of Hearing Heartbeats, The Fault in Our Stars, and The Untethered Soul.)
2. “The last book I read was The Great Gatsby in Mr. Gate’s English class at Skyline High School.”
3. “I don’t read fiction. I read The Book of Mormon before on my mission.”