MOM-versation on July 26th

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ME:   (on the telephone) Hello, Mother!

MOM:  I was just about to call you.

ME:  What were you going to call me?

MOM: (pause) My smart beautiful daughter. But, I was worried you may have tried to call and I was gone all day.

ME:  Where were you?

MOM:  First, I had to go to TOSH, for physical therapy. Then, because I was almost out of my Belgian Buttermilk Waffle Cookies, I went to Trader Joe’s to stock up. And, I was out of pecan brittle so I had to go to Cumming’s Chocolates.

ME:  (rolling my eyes and thinking about a sugar coma) Busy day.

MOM: Now, when are we going to go to Bed, Bath, and Beyond to get you an iron and an ironing board.  That’s what I’m getting you for your birthday.

ME:  Really?

MOM: I’m practical.

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Zits and Zippers

Yesterday, I had a first date. Before showering, I discovered a massive blemish growing above my lip.

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(One would think that at 45, one would no longer suffer from acne.)

I popped it. Well, I tried. There was not a satisfying explosion on the mirror. It was a sad painful pop that left a bloody bruise like thing.

I pondered what to wear. I planned to wear a conservative maxi skirt with a Wai Ming striped tank top, kind of conservative.

But, with the mass on my face, I changed to a maxi dress with cleavage so he’d have something to look at other than the growth.

Getting dressed, I had a moment like this:

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I could not zip my zipper.

I called my neighbor. She met me in the driveway, zipped me and, looking at the zit, said, “It looks like a beauty mark.” We both laughed.

 

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I’m Hot and NOT in a Good Way

For the last quarter of a century, I have lived in the mountains. First, at Sundance and then in Park City.

Traditionally, mountain homes were not built with air conditioning.

And, every year, there were three or four nights when it was too hot to sleep.

BRING ON CLIMATE CHANGE. Yes, it is real.

This is Weather Girl at 11:30 pm. It’s still in the 60’s.

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For the last week or so, Weather Girl has been in a bikini by 8:00 am.

Faith is flustered by the heat and seeks the coolest spots on the slate floor near the air vents, even though we do not have air conditioning.

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I am starting to think that I may have to invest in air conditioning.

A few nights ago, my big brother said, “If you need air conditioning, just get in your car and go for a drive.”

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Right now, I’m thinking about loading the furry family in the Element and taking a drive.

I’m hot. And, not in the good way.

 

 

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A Maxi Dress is Not As Absorbent

NEIGHBOR:  Come over for corn on the cob.

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ME:  Okay.

NEIGHBOR: (Carrying cold Sauvignon Blanc, 4 cobs of corn, and the butter dish.) Do we need napkins?

ME: No. I’m wearing a maxi dress.

NEIGHBOR: A max dress is not as absorbent as a maxi pad.

ME:  I’m just saying, I’ve got a lot of extra fabric here.

 

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Dating with Dogs: A Primer

Dating is hard.   Dating with dogs…is interesting.   In addition to the normal questions that run through every single person’s mind (What should I wear? Am I showing enough boob?  Too …

Source: Dating with Dogs: A Primer

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I Wear Maxi Pads, not Maxi Dresses

This year, my bestie turns 50!

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To celebrate, she is having a DISCO party and invited all of her guests to dress for the event.

One neighbor is struggling to find an outfit.

I suggested a maxi dress.

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She replied, “I wear maxi pads, not dresses. You have to be thin to wear a maxi dress.”

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23 Years Ago

Today is my anniversary.

23-years ago, I married Dwight Hooker.

That is a half-life ago.

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Today, I celebrated.

First, with my dear friends, Melissa and Tara, I had brunch overlooking the Park City Golf Course in a development Dwight would find charming.

Melissa and Tara reminded me, “only do things that bring you joy.”

Then, I napped and watched Harry Potter. Dwight bought me all of the books, first editions. He was patient when I spent whole days sitting on our deck, looking out over Stewart Falls, and reading.

I had tea with Jodi and Vanessa.

And, I missed Dwight. Jodi texted, “Happy Anniversary.”

Dwight would have loved this neighborhood and these friends.

After tea, I made my bed with clean sheets. (Dwight used to lie in bed with Gorbachev, our Samoyed, in the mornings and say, “Look at his pretty brown eyes.”)

I cleaned out a few cupboards.

With care, I touched and re-stacked my Berndes pans. Dwight gave me the set when I turned twenty, almost four years before he married me.

For my 19th birthday, he gave me down pillows. Gus and Faith made confetti with one. The other sprung a leak, but I keep it in my linen closet.

While I organized cupboards, I listened to the musical, If/Then. Without Dwight, I would not know anything about musicals.

I remember sitting in the silver Subaru XT coupe driving to and from Sundance listening to The Phantom of the Opera, Cats (don’t judge us), and, our favorite, Aspects of Love.

Dwight would LOVE If/Then because it is about an almost 40-year-old and the different choices she could make. (More on that in another blog.)

I’ll leave this and fall asleep with Love While You Can. That’s who we are. We’re just Dwight and Julie. Still. 23-years later.

Love wherever and whenever you should . . .

Our love belongs to everyone who loves us,

So it’s not just you and me,

And we both know love doesn’t make us perfect,

It just makes us want to be.

 

 

 

 

 

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