Since I am the oldest Hooker in our home, I thought I’d give you a little advice on being Hooker.
Hooker. It’s a thing. Not everyone can be one.
We are Hooker’s Horde. Mom is not a hoarder.
We’re Hookers. Being a Hooker means that, like Grandma says, “where much is given, much is expected.” We’ve been given a lot. We have a warm home, nutritious and delicious food, soft beds, toys, bones, and love. So, we pay it forward. Whenever someone needs a place to crash or hospice care, they come to our home.
Mom is a little crazy. But, she owns her crazy and her crazy doesn’t hurt anyone else. So, it’s okay.
This is a picture of our mom last year with Faith. Faith crossed the Rainbow Bridge in January. Faith and Houston didn’t like Momma Zombie. Mom loves Halloween, but we don’t invite trick-or-treaters. We (the dogs) put an end to that craziness.
You should know that mom is a vegetarian. She makes us eat our vegetables. But, she covers them in chicken and chicken broth. Every week she slow cooks A LOT of chicken for us. We have Merrick brand kibble for croutons. Usually, our mornings include yogurt and blueberries.
This is G-ma.
We LOVE the G-ma. On the left, she’s feeding Hef (short for Hefner) from her plate at the rehabilitation center. G-ma is bionic. She has two new knees. G-ma gives us gifts. She REALLY loves Berners because she likes to hug you. The photo on the right is G-ma feeding Diesel some of Jeff’s birthday cake.
This is Uncle Jeff with mom and our “dear cousin Lynn.” She’s more than a cousin. She loves us.
Mom thinks that people should drive respectfully in our ‘hood. So, she put up this sign.
Now, it looks like you may actually weigh more than mom. When we walk, we need to be careful. If we pull mom over and she breaks a hip, we’ll be stuck inside for the winter.
Having lived with 4 other Berners, I can tell you that you don’t want that. Winter is your season. Snow is fun.
When mom comes home after a long day at school (or, even after 15 minutes), we like to welcome her with confetti. Nothing shows her how much we love her more than toilet paper confetti.
This, as you now know, is our front door. That’s Honey looking at you. She’s about seven-months-old and we keep asking mom to give her back. But, that’s not what Hookers do. So, Honey is staying. Mom keeps telling us that she will grow up and stop being a “hooligan.” We’re WAITING.
Mom got us a bottle of ZinfanTAIL to celebrate your arrival. The champagne is hers. Apparently, a glass of champagne or red wine (or both) is healthy for our hoo-man.
This is your brand new bed with some brand new toys. The thing is, ultimately we share everything. We’re Hookers. Your bed is memory foam (just like the family bed). Yep . . . mom is single. We’re pretty sure that’s because no one else wants to sleep with her and six dogs. That’s their loss.
Some of the toys in this basket are special and we haven’t been allowed to touch them for months.
Auntie Barbz sent the Little Prince his own squeaky lamb to herd and the hedgehog princess. Those toys haven’t been off the mantle since Lil P left.
The mittens and the hat (it squeaks) were in the BarkBox that someone sent our Princess for Christmas. Mom put them aside for her to use this year. But, Princess went to join Faith in Feburary. Now, they belong to you because you are a Utah dog.
So, welcome. You’re a Hooker now.